i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
dude. I can hear the air.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
