I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
