literally had 100 drinks last night.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
