Responsibility does not care about your dick.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
