ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I need to wash the frat house off of me
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
