The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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