Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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