So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
he just fucked me for my cheese.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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