I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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