it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
