did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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