so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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