Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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