I'm eating all of the evidence.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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