oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
