i just wanna soil my oats bro
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
