i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
