"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
