I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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