I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
All the doctor said was why
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
