Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
