Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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