Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
