Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
