I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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