nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
