I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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