Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
