my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
