I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
