I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
