It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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