I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
