I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
