just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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