Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
