I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Randomize
