He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
