you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
