he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
