Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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