Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
