her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
