i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
