maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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