This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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