Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
