Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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