It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It's rum buckets o'clock
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
