I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize