So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
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