put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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