Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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