omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
