Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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